A man was in the checkout line at his local supermarket one day when the nosy lady in front of him saw he had a 100 pound bag of dog food in his cart.
The woman said, “Oh, I see you’re a dog lover?” to which the man replied, “No, I’m not.”
The woman replied, “If you’re not a dog lover, why would you be buying a 100 pound bag of dog food?”
The man replied, “I’m going back on the Purina diet again.” The woman responded, “The Purina diet, what is that?”
The man replied, “You fill your pockets with kibbles & bits, and anytime you feel hungry, you just toss a few kibbles & bits in your mouth.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me! You’re actually eating dog food?” the woman asked.
“Sure, why not? It’s 100% nutritionally complete, and it helps you lose weight. The last time I tried it I lost over 50 pounds in the first month.
The woman replied, “That’s amazing!” The man replied, “I probably would have lost more weight if I hadn’t landed in the hospital.”
The woman replied, “Oh, so it made you sick?” The man replied, “No, I was sitting in the middle of the street licking my balls when I got hit by a cement truck.”